Lessons I Learned In 2021

As the year 2021 is coming to an end, I'd like to gather the lessons I've learned this year. In no particular order, these lessons are what I will be taking with me into 2022 to further become HER a.k.a THAT GIRL, a.k.a THE BONAFIDEBABE.

1. God's rejection is his protection & delay does not mean denied. Have you ever had a situation where you really wanted something to work out instantly but it doesn’t or it feels like a long waiting game, maybe for you it’s a new relationship or an old one to work out, or a new place, or a job offer. In just this past year, I could apply this lesson to many situations but the most prominent being, my relationship with my husband, to be honest, we had ups and downs before having this amazing marriage that we have now. What we have now is not possible without the trials we went through and the time we waited. Lesson being that, God‘s plan is always better than our own, had things worked out the way I wanted them to, it would not be as great it is now. Another example for me, is becoming a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated, I wanted to join in undergrad but never officially got the opportunity to try, however, with hard work, dedication, and patience. God made the path clear to join through grad chapter led by my mentor, who honestly I can say is a gift from God in more ways than one. Not only was I able to join the illustrious sisterhood, but I also gained 21 beautiful sisters and get to be apart of an amazing chapter of Omicron Gamma Omega.

2. Discipline. Not every day is going to be the best day so I realized as long as you give your best for THAT task or that day, it's so much better than nothing. You know I’m going to be honest with y‘all, my biggest challenge with discipline right now is sticking to a schedule. So a big goal of mine in 2022 is to hold myself accountable to a consistent routine that keeps me productive because I am now transitioning into a full time entrepreneur and content creator, so with the freedom I have of time, I need to stay focused & from watching the successful influencers I follow, I recognize they put in effort, time, and consistency with content. What is a goal you guys have for 2022 that you want to dedicate yourself to ? Let me know in the comments.

3. Boundaries take time to strengthen with practice & you need a supportive group of people around you to hold you accountable. Also, taking care of yourself and boundaries are not selfish. God doesn't want us to be exhausted out here trying to be all things at once & helping everyone if it puts us in a worse or situation but instead give what you can selflessly & let him handle the rest. Like have you ever asked for God to give you purpose or strength ? Have you noticed he doesn't just give you those qualities with a snap of his fingers, he puts you in situations that allow you to gain those qualities. So if you are on your boundary learning journey, remember practice makes perfect and if you're anything like me, you will enforce a boundary and then start doubting yourself, and that's where having a healthy, supportive group that will help you go through your feelings and let you know if you are tripping or not is going to be crucial.

4. Take That Risk. It took me a long time to get this one, afraid of what if & outcomes but God doesn't put something on your heart for you to just ignore it. It can be so easy to get in your head but if you need some help seeing the bigger picture, try to keep in mind, we grow in uncomfortable situations, so staying comfortable is cool and safe but taking that risk may change your life in amazing ways. For me, this was quitting my full time job to become a full time entrepreneur, mom, and wife. While the money is nice, nothing compares to the feeling of waking up and being able to go after your passion.

5. Be Intentional. Sort of why I had to reevaluate my vision for BonaFideBabe & who I wanted to be & stand for. The effort you put into something determines the outcome. So for me, this means, the effort I put into my content, or my outfit, or my self-care, determines the if I look put together, or a mess. So if I'm lazy and throw anything together, it's going look that way as a result and in comparison of I put time into those things previously mentioned, it will be more polished, a better representation of what I want to share.

6. Be Unapologetically You . Lol okay yes BonaFide means to be authentic, yes but the whole reason I started this brand was because being yourself can be hard when we have years of trauma and societal norms and a bunch of stuff that says be anybody but you. I realized this year no one is like me, I’m not like anyone else because it’s meant to be that way. The way I wear my hair or my outfit does not have to be the same way the next person does and being sensitive & empathetic instead of confrontational is a strength, not a weakness. We are all on our earth for our own unique purpose and you can’t find that purpose trying to be like anyone else.

7. If you want to be loved the way you love, love yourself, everything will fall in place. This applies to all relationships in life, when you decide to love yourself, people tend to follow suit and treat you how you treat yourself. For example, If you don't tolerate negative self-talk from yourself, why would you accept it from someone else. If you take yourself on dates and spend quality time with you, then it's only right that your expectation of a partner would be that they treat you the same way.

8. Change is inevitable, learn to embrace it. Before I got pregnant, I wasn't exactly sure that I was ready to start a family. I just knew that God’s plan was for me to wait for like a year so I could accomplish my goals and get things in order. So…….it turns out God had a plan for me to accomplish goals and get things in order, BUT he said you are going to do it WITH this baby. Instantly after finding out we were pregnant, my mind changed. I felt grateful & honored that God chose me and Robert to be our baby's parents, it was like he specifically chose us for each other and she has already taught me so much about myself and showed me that I can do anything I put my mind to, I can start a family and accomplish my goals, and once again reminded me that with God anything is possible.

9. When it comes to accomplishing something big, plan, try starting small, and then add on. It's so easy to get overwhelmed, when you have so much on your mind that you want to do and accomplish, but you won't actually accomplish anything if you have these ideas floating around, you can start by writing out reachable steps you can take towards a big goal and like I mentioned earlier, be consistent and have discipline. I had so many goals and ideas for BonaFideBabe but wasn't getting anywhere because I was just full of ideas, no action. So, let's try and start small and make progress day by day and achieve these goals.

10. You don't have to settle for anything. FOR ANYTHING, IN ANY AREA OF YOUR LIFE. You deserve the best in any area of your life. I don't care what your life is like now, or was like before, you deserve everything your heart desires and do not let anybody tell you different, or project their fears or doubts on you. Romanticize your life, you are THAT GIRL, you are a BonaFideBabe.Let's get it 2022.